Alternative plans, stability and being detached

We need to eat at times, we need love, we need a million other things.

Many times, no disaster will follow if we forgo the needed. But there is a psychological feeling that we must have this and this thing. This feeling will create a very negative feeling (even a physical one) if we do not get what we want. It also prevents us from thinking open mindedly about alternatives.

Stability comes from being able to be alive feel good being able to make decisions etc. at different states. Making oneself emotionally prepared to lack of want satisfaction brings stability, as the dependence on the actual satisfaction of needs is lowered. More stability is created by thinking on alternative plans for the need, which may bring real and good solutions.

I am wondering whether this is causing detachment from what one does or from the people one is related to. It is also unclear whether and when detachment is good (Meditation tradition praises detachment from various things, but promotes a certain feeling of connectedness. There is a lot to think about that).
Generally, I believe that having alternatives is very different from being detached. One can be fully there and related abnd still having other options. Still there are trade-ofs. It is hard to evaluate the meaning value and consequences of these. No free lunch. But there may be tricks to combine things throught maybe better emotional framing.