nihilism realism and good to believe

being realistic is sometimes mocked and being "nihilistic" "cynic" etc.

sometimes, being cynical and nihilistic is being coated as "realism"

reality does not care about any titles. it is there.

nihilism or sentimentalism is about emotional attitude. but people tend to mix them up.


when i told a naive teenager that having a kid means paying $100K I was telling a literal truth. the act of telling this truth may or may not have been sentimental enough.

Her cry "but it is about kids, not about money" is a mix of sentimental attitude and lack of knowledge about reality. (sentimental here is not derogatory)


Accepting that life comes about by accidents (marriage out of friends getting away, or pregnancy etc., moving countries out of completely irrelevant incidents etc.) does not equal cynicism. it is realism.


The knowledge feelings trade-off.
the "it is a different domain" is a cheap men's escape. it is different domain. but these do meet. and there is a cost of knowing the truth.

It is true that love is almost always conditional in a way. But knowing and internalizing this reality changes you, and it affects your ability to love and to experience being loved in a satisfying way.



PS. the religion of "truth" as yet another modern lunacy.

Ugly acceptance

there are bad things in life.
the need to work. mediocre relationships. bad health etc.

"we got to accept it" is the most terrible thing I can hear.

Psychologically - it is desirable to get peace with what we have.

But there is a much sinister attitude here

"we got to accept"

the religious belief that it is desirable to accept and be complacent with these ills.



I have no bitterness towards the slaves who accept their slavery. towards the mantally ill who are happy with their mediocre situation etc.

But when they come to me trying to force me to believe that "this is life"???
THIS I find totally unacceptable.


I am accepting the unchosen reality that I cannot live with such stupidity. I hope that until my last drop of blood, I will not "accept" the avoidable bad.

I accept that I cannot accept such nonsense. (there are other forms of nonsense that I am full of, but forgive me)